This past weekend was one I was very much looking forward to. My best buddy from High school and college was getting married. We were the kind of friends who got along so well and were super close, that many thought we were together or should be. Our freshman year Andy sent me a contract that stated if we got to a certain age, hadn’t gotten married then we should marry each other. Thank goodness he found Ashley, because I’m not sure I could have followed through with that one, I’m sure he was thinking the same thing, these many years later.


here we are in High School after prom
Our first day of classes at SMSU together
It was going to be a great reunion of college friends that I hadn’t seen in quite some time. I planned the perfect outfit, a great gift, got a hotel for my friends and myself, took the day off of work and was ready to roll. Friday morning I got up, ran some errands, loaded the car and took off on my way to Buffalo MN. I hit LOTS of traffic, every red light possible and even got behind a semi going 20 mph in a 55 with no availability to pass. I was getting a little heated and just wanted to get there, get ready and get to the church. I found the hotel and carried my stuff up to my room. I was about to get in the shower when it hit me… I FORGOT MY DRESS!!!!!
I had worn gym shorts and a t-shirt and had brought sweatpants to drive home in the next day and that was it! I called my mom in a panic and she told me to calm down and run to Target. I got in the car and headed over to Target where I had always had luck finding clothes. However, being the plus size woman that I am, this is not always the easiest thing. I ran my way to the back of the store, to find 3 racks, yeah that’s it, with clothes that would fit over the girls. Unfortunately, there were NO dress, and hardly any dress clothes at all. I panicked again and ran to ask for help. The idiot behind the counter says, “yeah, I guess that all we have, sorry. You didn’t bring anything else to wear?” I was like, no you bitch, and I don’t need this from you! I grabbed a cotton skirt that I found in the ‘regular size’ section because I can fit into some bottoms but tops… that’s a WHOLE other story. I did all I could not to cry and headed to the hotel with a kelly green tank top and black skirt. I tried it on, it looked horrible and I began to cry. I jumped in the shower and then called my mom again. She had called someone in the office in Buffalo (same bank, different town) and she suggested I head to Maurice’s. This I thought was a great idea, however, I was down to about a half an hour before I had to leave for Delano. I picked up the phone book to call and see if they had any dresses and then thought, no Sara, just drive there. I got to the store, took a look around and said “where is your plus size section?” The lady answered, “oh we don’t have one!” Again, I pleated with my eyes to keep the tears in. I told her the story of my dress and she said, “Oh, I’m sure we have something that will fit.” I informed her that the lady’s are not ones who like to fit into the regular size. She brings me a skirt, in a large, (Not going to fit) and a shirt that she states, “well its a long!” (not going to fit) I decided to amuse them and try it on. I was right… DIDN’T even come close to fitting. I then asked if they just had a little sweater to go over the one shoulder tank top I found in my car, but only had a regular bra, yeah that would look cute! She brings be this sweater, again size large, and insists I just try it on! I looked like Chris Farley in David Spades sport coat singing “fat guy in a little coat!” I should have brought my arms together and ripped it down the back just to show those idiots that I know what will fit and what will not. I called mom again, this time VERY close to tears and she said, go back, get dressed (in the skirt from target, the one shoulder tank and a white zip up hoodie I brought for the ride home) do your hair nice and get the idea in your head that you are not going to make it to the wedding ceremony. I did as she said and left at 5:25 to Delano for the 5:30 wedding. I ended up getting a bit lost, due to detours and had a full blown meltdown in the car and pulled into the parking lot of the church as the happy couple was making their way out of the church. SHIT! I missed the whole thing! I found my friends who all told me I looked great, because that’s what friends do… lie to each other and then found Andy. He said, “Hey Lemons, did you love the wedding?” I burst into tears again and said, “I MISSED THE WHOLE THING (sob) He told me not to worry and enjoy the evening. After arriving at the reception I loosened up, hung out with the old gang and danced the night away. I got home the next day, for the Xziex party at Chad’s house, and punched the dress still hanging in the doorway. Basically it sucked, but really it’s just a dress, and as my mother said, “you are going to have a great time no matter what you wear.” I disagreed at the time, but as always, she was right! Here are some fun shots from the day…

The groom with his favorite big boob sisters Rob and Bogie… and a few drinks

Millers reception get-up Hanke and Rohloff gettin’ down A 400lb. Keg stand

My Roomies Pat and Lora Mertes Rob and I doing a little Dancing

Our disfunctional family photo. Lora, Rohloff and Sara paying attention. Smude punching Miller, Hanke with his hand in his pants, Witt taking a huge bite of something and Cassie (behind Rohloff’s head) watching the action… Oh how I miss the random days of college!